May 23, 2024
“Please take notice that you have violated the terms of your lease agreement.”
My hands shook as I read the notice tacked on the front door of TKG Headquarters.
“Breach #1 — The terms of the lease provide that you, the tenant, shall NOT be more than a 5 on the Hotness Richter Scale. You are a 6.2…at least. At least. Which is a clear violation of the agreement.
Breach #2 — The terms of the lease provide that you, the tenant, shall NOT be ‘too cool for school.’ The legal definition of ‘too cool for school’ means to be way cooler and smooth than just about anyone. A clear violation of the agreement was performed.”
The notice went on and on for pages.
“In conclusion you will need to be out no later than May 31st as one of the greatest sandwich places in Wichita, Kansas — The Artichoke Sandwichbar — will be opening up a second location in what will be the former TKG Headquarters. Around the first of June. As you know it’s located at 29th & Rock at the Comatara Tower. We wish you luck. But not much.”
I vacillated between crying tears of joy because of the new Artichoke location and tears of….nah, actually, I was just excited.
