May 25, 2025
It’s Sunday, May 25th. It’s craw time.
The cost of fanny packs is too damn high and I am so sick and tired of it.
Did you know that fanny packs have been around basically forever? Even Otzi, Europe’s oldest known mummy, had a fanny pack. Why? Duh. They’re versatile, practical and always in style. And back in 3100 BC when Otzi was carrying around his fanny pack you could get one of those bad boys for like a couple pennies or maybe even one U.S. penny.
Know the price today? I checked this morning on Amazon and you cannot find a damn fanny pack for less than $9.99 plus shipping and handling, state and local taxes not included.
I blame the Big Fanny Pack Lobby. Everybody knows these packs are a necessity. From keeping little widgets and spare change for loiterers, to housing a few cassete tapes along with your walkman — the fanny pack has like a bajillion uses. I once say a karate dude use his pack for self defense.
And Big Fanny knows that we, the proletariet, are reliant on fannys. That’s why these necessity packs, as I call them, are like ten thousand times more than they used to be.
So here’s to you…all you corporate Big Fanny Pack lobbyists. You stick in my craw. And you ain’t gonna like it when TKG has you in his craw.
— TKG
